Tagged: sarcobang

A Penny For Your Chindogu

Necessity is the mother of invention. Since the beginning of time, humans have been on their creative grind in order to make this world a better place. What would we do without the wheel or the motor vehicle; the lightbulb or the iPad Mini? Out of necessity, we have created these many wonderful inventions. Without some of them, I don’t know where we would be today. However, while this is all true and good, I am officially dubbing Japan as the step-mother of invention. With the oh so practical Rice-Growing Agriculture Bra, women and men alike are sparking an interest in agriculture!

In addition to the Rice-Growing Agriculture Bra, I researched a few other gems that Japan has introduced to the world.

Eye Drop Funnels

I hope that droplet of saline reaches terminal velocity before it daggers into my cornea.

Tissue Helmet

If I ever walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe, I hope I find this lady waiting to tell me about it. I would have so many cruel things to say.

Subway Sleeper

Something tells me strangulation is waiting for her at the next stop.

Butter Stick

Okay, this one might actually be awesome and totally practical.

Despite the seemingly utter uselessness of these inventions, save the butter stick, I think they are on to something here. Chindogu is a Japanese word meaning “the art of useless invention”. While our pretentious North American asses have been knocking the Japanese, the joke is really on us. Chindogu was “invented”, if you will, in the late 1980’s when a certain Kenji Kawakami (what a sick name) created something that kind of missed the mark. He was an amateur, it’s understandable. Whatever it was, I’m sure he just about nailed it.

However, because Kawakami probably had a good sense of humor, he discovered that his invention was still a quite enjoyable, original, silly piece of junk, nothing else like it in the world, or so we hope. Chindogu is taken pretty seriously over there, and the Ten Tenets of Chindogu were created because you might think there are no rules; but there are rules. They are as follows:

1. A chindogu cannot be for real use.
2. A chindogu must exist.
3. Inherent in every chindogu is the spirit of anarchy.
4. Chindogu are tools for every day life.
5. Chindogu are not for sale.
6. Humor must not be the sole reason for creating a chindogu.
7. Chindogu is not propaganda.
8. Chindogu are never taboo.
9. Chindogu cannot be patented.
10. Chindogu are without prejudice.

Enter, sarcobang. Through the twenty-one years of my life, I think I might have created a few accidental chindogus, although if I had in fact been the first person to think of bra pockets, that shit would have been patented by now. Because one cannot actually hold a sarcobang, and therefore it does not exist, I am dubbing it an actual invention. Basically, it is the product of the irony mark (⸮), and an interrobang (‽), but with a twist. So you heard it here first, the sarcobang is a punctuation mark you might add to the end of an exclamation if you think the receiver might not understand your sarcasm. I’ll have you know this is an Erin Original that I have created, not to be found anywhere on the internet until now.

On that note, I leave you with a quote to spark the future chindogus brewing in the depths of your right brain.

“A life lived for art is never a life wasted.” – Macklemore (Ten Thousand Hours)